Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Tidbit Tuesday: Back Pain? Not Really...


Whoa...did that first sentence put a 0_0 expression on your face?  It sounds wrong doesn't it?  But those words is what you'll hear when anyone tries to touch me in a specific area right in the middle of my two shoulder blades on my upper back.

When I was in the 4th grade, my parents found a tumor growing in my upper back, near my spine, but not ON my spine.  It sounds more horrible than it actually was, because it was a tiny little bump.  But it scared us nonetheless.  My dad was susceptible to tumors, and have had ones removed from his throat, hip, and the bottom of his foot.  But for me, at such a young age, it was quite scary.  My parents took me to the doctors and it was tested to be benign, which was a huge relief. 

But the tumor had to come out.  Since it was a small surgical procedure, the doctor only locally administered the anesthetic.  Which meant that he had to stick the needle right into my tumor, while I was awake.  When the doctor told me this, I felt a little nervous, but as a  kid, I was typically more daring, and wasn't as aware of pain as I am now.  The doctor told me to be brave and stuck the long needle straight into my back.  I won't lie, it hurt like a MOFO!!!  But I didn't even move since he told me not to...and I was a good kid that listened to adults.  If he told me not to move, I knew I couldn't move.

At least the painful part was over.  For the remainder of the procedure, I felt no pain.  And my doctor was making coversation with me, telling me how brave I was.  Meanwhile, I felt him scraping away at my back.  I think this was my main issue.  Although I didn't feel any pain, the scraping of the scalple and whatever other instruments he was using definitely left a permanent mark, psychologically.  At the end of the procedure, I had a whoppipng FOUR stitches to showcase how brave I was.  But the scraping and needle sticking remained with me for the rest of my life.  Now...more than 20 years later, I still cringe when someone, out of kindness lets say...pats my upper back.  Or playfully poke their forefinger on my shoulder blade.  Just thinking about this gives me goose bumps.

Am I the only one that feels this way?  Has anyone else had small surgery like this but have issues with the scarred area?  Am I just crazy?  :)


  1. Absolutely not crazy Cindy. I actually tear up at the thought of being stuck with a needle of any kind. I don't have a scar/surgery issue, but I definitely hate it when people touch my veins. My skin is fairly translucent and people always want to trace them. I'm liking a walking A&P model to some people!

  2. Cat - I know what you mean. I know people with translucent skin as well and I can't stand seeing their blood be drawn either. It's really scary! I'm glad I'm not the only one.

  3. ahhhhhhhhhhh! I had to get a mole removed last summer that was potientally cancerous (it wasn't), so it was the same thing - long needle in the back, then scraping and the worst...cauterizing the wound. Bleh. Smelling your own flesh burn is the worst. I felt fine right after it was done, but then when I got out in the parking lot (it was June and almost 100 degrees out), I started thinking about it and started throwing up everywhere. So that was cool. The bad thing is that the wound made a keliod scar, so I have to go get more surgery done to remove that in a month. Words can not describe how much I am dreading this.

  4. Ashley - That sounds horrible! :( To have to go through it now is horrible. At least I was a kid then and didn't know better. Hopefully your scarrying can be removed easily.

  5. nooooo, you're not crazy. crazy funny and cute but not crazy in the head. I have a scar near my right eyebrow from falling hard and bashing my head against a rock when i was a kid and every time my hubby tries to touch it, I cringe.
    but then again, I don't like it when people come up to me and morph into massage monsters. the only person I'm okay with touching me is my husband.

  6. Just hearing this give me the chills. I don't have painful surgeries but I have fear with people driving too close to a truck in front of me. I was in a bus on the trip to Guangzhou to get visa to US. The bus ran into a truck and I watch it crash trough it but there is nothing I can do. I still have nightmares about it 20 years later. Certain experience just traumatize you. I don't know if there is anyway you can get over it.

  7. I think Cat and I are the same person in different countries. I'm the same as her - HATE needles, and i tear up as well. Also, HAte anything to do with veins (just typing the word gives me the shakes), and hate it it when people touch them.
    I;m one of those people who can't stand watching medical related soaps and reality tv shows with blood in it.
    I do have a scar on my left knee from a schoolyard mishap. When my hubby touches it, i slap his hand (gently) :-)

  8. Wow! That sounds quite traumatic and I'd probably have some emotional scarring too! Cat & Jen are too cute! I don't have very visible veins at all. And actually I've been poked with needles a couple of times where they've missed the vein and in fact are just poking me with needles! Ouch! No fun and definitely leaves some soreness! I always ask them to take their time and make the vein bulge before taking blood now. And I can't watch it.

    xx Vivian @ http://diamondsandtulle.blogspot.com

  9. Inspiring blog you have here. Thanks for sharing this blog as it depicts a true fighter as you fight with inner struggle of trying to live a normal life. This is very admirable and inspiring indeed.

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